The Bikes

One look at a typical “Amsterdammer” on her bike, and you know deep down inside that that’s the way to go. Its efficient for such a small city, you can practically go anywhere. It’s very refreshing as the wind blows in your hair or gently glides you along as you pedal away taking in the sights and sounds of this quaint little city. It’s social – as you bike around with a bunch of friends, or romantic, as you hold the hands of your fair lady in the middle of the night while biking through the nearly empty streets. It’s exciting, as you try to maneuver your way around tricky little streets, trying to avoid being hit, or fun, when you bike around Dam Square looking to hunt some tourists. Everyone rides a bike – 3 year olds without training wheels, 80 year olds who look like they bike better than they walk. Professors and bums, the police and the junkies...there is no replacing the bike. And why not? It’s healthy. I've never seen a 70 year old man bike before, let alone overtake me. It obviously keeps him in shape – and that’s never a bad thing. More importantly - the Dutch women are incredibly beautiful...thank God for those bikes. I shudder to imagine my sorrow if all the women were cooped up in their little cars – what would I have done? Go around staring through windows? No! At least this way I get to see the sights as I bike around.

One of my favorite past-times back when the weather was beautiful was to ride down as far as I could go and see what’s going on. The Amstel canal is beautiful on Sunday afternoons. People lounging around in the wake of the afternoon sun, reading, jogging, resting, cuddling, and chilling around with some drinks. A perfect way to spend a Sunday. It just feels right. It feels gezellig.

If someone asks me what’s the most important thing I learned in Amsterdam, or what I brought back with me– I could go on and on. But the most important thing to me was a simple word, a notion, an idea, a feeling. We all know that feeling – it’s a mixture of warmth, of comfort and happiness. A very full and overpowering feeling of content. It may be luxurious, or may be sparse, but somehow touches your heart in a very intensely emotional way. If I were to describe it, I would say its the epitome of the human condition, a feeling that you could perhaps describe as sitting in a cozy little log cabin in the middle of the woods in a snowy winter, the fireplace blazing and crackling as you sip hot chocolate and cuddle with something warm, soft and furry (and preferably not alive) while you enjoy the company of a someone very close to you. That’s a lot of words to describe that feeling. The Dutch do it much better...they call it gezellig. It’s supposedly a word that has no literal translation in any other language. My Dutch professor said...”its something nice”. What an understatement. I don't need a translation. I come from halfway around the world, I'm not even Dutch. But I know the feeling. Its one of the purest human emotions you can experience. It’s what we crave for; it's what we live for. It makes our lives special. So yes, what was that I learned in Amsterdam? Nothing...just a word. Which means everything.

The Feminine Society

I've known Freek Bakker, my Dutch instructor for about two months, and I've never seen him as confused as he was when Kristin and I turned up for the Dutch final resit. We had both passed, but somehow we ended up sitting for that resit. I know I was a little concerned – I had just found out that my grades were going to get transferred back to my home school, which is, to say the least, an irritating prospect. I didn't do too bad on the final, but, all my life, I've been taught to make use of the opportunities around me, so when the resit was offered...I said why not? I had a B, but I could possibly make it into an A- or even an A. Plus I slept through my Social Trends class that morning, for the second time in two weeks, and I was feeling guilty. So I went. And there he was...so confused. “But normally, Dutch students, once they pass, will never sit for another test. I don't think they are allowed,” he said. Hmm. That’s interesting. Back then, I didn't know what to make of it. Now, armed with the knowledge gleaned from my Field Experience seminar I can explain the situation - it’s a difference arising out of the masculinity versus femininity of the society.

It is actually pretty simple. I come from a masculine society. So, I believe bigger is better. Better is not enough, you've got to be the best. To be the best, you have to rise to the top. To rise to the top, you must climb a mountain. And you cannot give up. Everyone expects you to climb that mountain. You'll feel better once you've done it. People will know you. That’s how you reach the ultimate goal of happiness and success.

Contrast that to my perception of the Dutch society. Bigger is not necessarily better, good things come in small packages too. Why bother going to the top? Do you not like where you are? What is this need to be the best? How do you even define best? You can go to the top of the mountain if you want, carrying all that hiking gear up that long arduous road, but you know what, I like my little hill. It’s not so difficult to climb, its not as cold, I get to have more fun climbing up and coming down, and I get to meet other happy people who live on this hill and in many other hills around me and below me. It’s not bad, I'm happy. What else do you need?

Fairy tales and fables all speak of great heroes who go and slay dragons, defeat evil wizards to rescue the princess and marry her and live happily ever after. We all grew up with those stories and still love them. But in my mind, one thing seems certain – there is no such “princess”. Happiness is completely arbitrary, and very individualistic. You cannot always follow a set formula to get what you want, because we are all too unique to achieve the same state of well being. All fingers are not equal. What we really need is a way to reconcile ourselves with our dreams and desires, and find that cushy spot where we are happy. That’s how life gets its meaning. That’s how I live my life, by striving to give meaning to every single thing I do. And every time I look back, I am filled with a sense of pride knowing that my life is made up of bits and pieces of meaningful treasured memories.

My only gripe with life...I still don't know where I need to go. I came to Amsterdam to find that part of my essential self which keeps eluding me. I've seen it several times, I felt its presence and its influence, but it keeps slipping away. I guess it’s not a bad thing. I think the search for the sunrise which is supposed to bring light and bath my world with energy will have its merits. If I knew where to go and what to do, then life would lose all meaning. Instead, I will continue to sail my boat in the ocean of life, hoping that one day I will find the treasure that we all seek. Happiness.